How to Make It in Life

My landlord wants to sell the house, so now I have to move. But finding a nice apartment at a reasonable price is quite difficult. Too bad I'm not a cute girl, then I would have no problems at all.

I've been more tired before, and more stressed out, and even more insane, but never in quite the combination as I am right now. And it's not even anything big. It's just a bunch of little things piling on, like it's time for the gods to become aware and jealous and spiteful of me. "I am humble!" I say as I shake my fist towards the heavens. I guess it's been my recent 60 hour work weeks, having to move out of my apartment in the next month or so, the car not working properly at the most inopportune times, the laundry piling up, the toilet acting strange, my friends acting stranger... And through all this, all I wish is that I could just dive into a big ocean of jello, plunging to the bottom, 200 feet down. I would eat myself out a home down there, with a few books and some fine wines. But instead of reading or drinking, I'd just fall into a deep slumber from which no alarm clock or cell phone could awaken me. It's not the big sleep, just a long snooze in my jello hideout. Right now, that would be quite the place to be.

...to watch Maid in Manhattan with my girlfriend.

I have one of these hideous creatures flying around inside my apartment.



I tried catching it earlier, but it escaped. Now it's just hiding somewhere, waiting for its chance to strike back. And I have to go to sleep soon. So if you don't hear from me again, you'll know what killed me...

My boss has decided to put me on salary just as I've started to work 55 hour weeks, the bastard.

And if he puts me back on hourly when work starts to be scarce, I will kick him in the nuts.

Oh, papa needs a brand new bag.