How to Make It in Life

I see nobody wants to do my research for me. Oh well, so I went and did it. And so here's the origin of "turd burglar": Back when the early white settlers headed west to settle the American frontier, they needed fuel for their nightly camp fires. Dried buffalo dung was plentiful and burned quite easily. But as the buffalo was hunted to near-extinction, their poop understandably became more and more scarce. Buffalo dung became a rare and highly sought after commodity. And in the Wild West, this meant the outlaw element soon got involved. Bandits would hold up stage coaches for the sole purpose of robbing innocent folk of their buffalo chips. Frontiersman would curse these purloiners of poo, these dung desperados, these... "turd burglars". And thus the term was coined. But wait, you say, robbery is not the same as burglary, is it? Shouldn't it be "turd robbers"? Indeed, you may be right. But in the Wild West, no one cared for such semantics. So don't be an a-hole about it.