How to Make It in Life

I hope everybody votes next week, because as you know, for the most part, every vote counts. As for me, I'm voting absentee! I've only filled in one circle so far, but there are all these other people I've never heard of, people running for State Assembly or Superior Court. Where can I get a list of the judges who are most lenient in punishing sodomy? And then there are all these measures and initiatives to decipher. It's amazing that people are asked to vote for things they know nothing about. I'm sure when voters encounter these names for the first time in the voting booth, they probably just check off the name of the guy that sounds the nicest. Or they just vote for the wrong reasons (For Prop 69, I will mark YES because I love 69ing). That's why I think absentee voting is the way to go, because then you can agonize over each initiative, reading what each side has to say on the issue, and then making an informed choice. Of course, my vote will be cancelled out by the guy who hates even numbers, but you can also say you cancelled his vote out. Something to think about!

This past weekend, I went hiking in Nevada and visited a gold mine in Arizona. Unfortunately, I had let my friend borrow my camera, so I don't have any pictures to post here. Which is unfortunate because I did see some cool things like strange rock formations, dragonflies, fish eating duck poo, and all sorts of things. I did find some quartz on the ground, so that was pretty cool. When I get my camera back, I will take a picture of it and post it!

Now, back to work dammit!

Having not partaken in the pleasures of coffee in quite a while, I, in a space of two hours, drank three full cups of a strong, hearty brew earlier today. Boy, talk about getting the shakes. Apparently, my body's tolerance to caffeine has waned considerably since the last time I had this much of it. For most of the day I could not sit still, so much so that my boss asked me why I kept walking around the office. I couldn't concentrate on anything, and when I spoke to anyone, it was at an accelerated pace, as if I had accidentally hit my own personal fast forward button*. If there had been some way to harness my energy, I'm sure I could've powered the office for a few hours, saving quite a bit on the utility bill in the process.

Even now, after work, I still feel a bit edgy. I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight. Back in college, if I drank too much coffee during the day, I had difficulty falling asleep at night unless I took Nyquil or something, which is really bad -- after all, that's how Elvis got started. Another reason I may not be able to sleep well tonight is because whenever I have a vivid dream, it's usually followed by several nights of similarly-themed dreams.

And so last night I dreamed quite vividly that I was a murderous werewolf.

It was all very disturbing -- not so much because I was a murderous werewolf, but because I felt so sad when my family refused to hear my pleas of forgiveness for having been a murderous werewolf. Oh, the looks of disappointment in their faces! And it was only then that I felt guilty for eating all those innocent people. Indeed, shame had greater power over my conscience than the fact that I had torn people to shreds. It was so vivid that I woke up thinking that perhaps I had been repressing memories of my rampages.

Of course, after a few moments I realized I wasn't a werewolf in real life, and so I rejoiced. And even if I did happen to eat someone in real life, I was confident that I would immediately feel bad about it, and that made me happier. But then I got sad again because I realized it was five in the morning and I needed to go to work in a few hours. Of course, I didn't fall back asleep until 20 minutes before my alarm clock went off...

So today at work, to counteract my lack of sleep, I drank wayyyyy too much coffee.


*Located, coincidentally, next to my belly button.

While I was cleaning out the fridge this morning, I found some over-ripe kim chee, which had been sitting on the bottom shelf alone and untouched for weeks. So I of course decided to eat some. As the fermented cabbage tickled my tongue and burned my throat, I couldn't help but to imagine that this is what it must be like to eat something I found in the drain. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love kim chee, but I cannot eat this "authentic" kim chee, which, it seems, must be aged until it smells like a mixture of death and flatulence, and therefore attracts giant flies to bang futilely against your screen door. My mom would love it, but I threw the rest out. So now I feel like a sell out, and I think I overreacted and drank a few shots of rum just in case I ingested a few germs. Or perhaps it was to dull the shame. So now I'm a little tipsy and I haven't even eaten lunch yet. But it's Saturday, and it's all good!

I get the day off today because my boss thinks I've been working too much lately, i.e. getting paid too much overtime. I could be mad that he's trying to take money out my pocket, food out of my mouth, buttless chaps out of my closet, but honestly I really don't mind having a day off. Besides, I needed to take care of things I haven't had time for recently, like taking my car in to get a tune-up and buying some groceries to make a pot of my extra-delicious chicken curry. I usually make enough curry to last ten meals, which one would think would be overkill, but I just eat it pretty much every day afterwards and never get sick of it. It's that damn good. Maybe I'll post some pictures later, make y'all jealous.