Monday, April 18, 2005
Volkswagen Passat
I've heard good things about the Volkswagen Passat.
But I'm not sure I'd want to own a car that sounds like someone passing gas.
Actually, I think my next car will be a hybrid. Not necessarily by choice mind you, because by the time I get around to buying a new car, all cars will probably be hybrids.
And by "hybrid" I mean a car that's part machine, part animal. In the near future, bioengineering will advance far enough so that scientists will be able to breed powerful beasts capable of being fused to metal, circuitry and rich Corinthian leather to create the next generation of automobile. This will reduce the amount of gasoline you'll have to use because you'll be able to refuel your car by feeding it scraps from the butcher. (Just don't let the kids get too close.) The next generation of automobile will anticipate and avoid accidents, roar when it is stuck in traffic, and always be loyal to you. The only drawback is that your car will crap like an elephant and spew out "exhaust" like there's no tomorrow. Passat indeed.
But I'm not sure I'd want to own a car that sounds like someone passing gas.
Lady Gertrude: Care for more tea?
Lord Henry: Why certainly.
Lady Gertrude's Bottom: Passat.
Lord Henry: Pardon?
Lady Gertrude: Sorry?
Lord Henry: Were you trying to whisper something to me?
Lady Gertrude: Heavens no. You're hearing things.
Lord Henry: My apologies.
(short pause)
Lord Henry: Dear Lord, has something died in here?
Actually, I think my next car will be a hybrid. Not necessarily by choice mind you, because by the time I get around to buying a new car, all cars will probably be hybrids.
And by "hybrid" I mean a car that's part machine, part animal. In the near future, bioengineering will advance far enough so that scientists will be able to breed powerful beasts capable of being fused to metal, circuitry and rich Corinthian leather to create the next generation of automobile. This will reduce the amount of gasoline you'll have to use because you'll be able to refuel your car by feeding it scraps from the butcher. (Just don't let the kids get too close.) The next generation of automobile will anticipate and avoid accidents, roar when it is stuck in traffic, and always be loyal to you. The only drawback is that your car will crap like an elephant and spew out "exhaust" like there's no tomorrow. Passat indeed.
