How to Make It in Life

Today, I drove 50 miles for free food. Well, actually it was for a co-worker party, but I wasn't gonna drive all that way just to see the same disgusting fools I see every day. I'd rather starve myself before I'd see them during my off-hours. And so that's what I did. I didn't eat all day in order to savor the delicious free food all the more. And it was indeed delicious. Of course, in the end, it turns out that the food really wasn't free since the cost of gas for the trip was probably some exorbitant amount that's way more than the price of the food, but since it was the reason I went, I must stand by that reasoning. And that makes me somewhat melancholy.