Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Duck Soup 

When somebody thinks something is really easy to do, they might say, "Oh that's duck soup!" Or, "It's as easy as pie!"

You never hear someone say, "It's as easy as pasta!" Or "That's rice!"

And why not? Pasta and rice are probably the two easiest things in the world to cook -- much easier than pie or duck soup, in any case. Actually, I've never had duck soup before, so maybe I'm wrong. What goes into it? But I suspect that no matter how you prepare it, duck soup is just a waste of duck. It's like watering down manna from heaven. Why not make some crispy Peking duck instead? That shit is delicious. Sometimes I wish Rachael Ray from the Food Network would cook me some Peking duck while dressed in nothing but a short skirt and a bra.

Ahhh, but then I think, why would Rachael Ray do something so silly? She would never wear something so degrading AND cook for me. She has too much self-respect. And besides, she'd get burned! But apparently she did it for FHM, like two years ago.

If you look closely at the eyes on her airbrushed face, you can see her soul dying on the inside. That's okay Rachael, we all make mistakes. Sexy sexy mistakes.