Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Healthy
The doctor called me at work today. Since I was out at the time, she left a message saying that I needed to call her back because the results of my blood test had come in. There was a tinge of sadness to her voice as she said goodbye.
I had gone in a few days earlier because my nose had been bleeding off and on for the past month. She reassured me that it was just a sinus infection, and the antibiotics she prescribed me would clear it right up.
But now, apparently, it was something much worse, and she was sad about it. Perhaps it was an incurable blood disease. Or perhaps the dreaded wasting away. I tried to imagine how I would take the news that I had only six months to live. I thought of how I would drop the phone and collapse to the ground upon hearing the news. I'd rock back and forth and cry, or perhaps wander into traffic and scream at passing cars about this unjust world.
After I played out these woeful scenarios in my head and partly in pantomime, I finally called back my doctor.
I had gone in a few days earlier because my nose had been bleeding off and on for the past month. She reassured me that it was just a sinus infection, and the antibiotics she prescribed me would clear it right up.
But now, apparently, it was something much worse, and she was sad about it. Perhaps it was an incurable blood disease. Or perhaps the dreaded wasting away. I tried to imagine how I would take the news that I had only six months to live. I thought of how I would drop the phone and collapse to the ground upon hearing the news. I'd rock back and forth and cry, or perhaps wander into traffic and scream at passing cars about this unjust world.
After I played out these woeful scenarios in my head and partly in pantomime, I finally called back my doctor.
Doctor: Topanga?What a relief! No death sentence. Although that's tempered by the fact that it sort of is a death sentence, only slower. My family has a history of high cholesterol and clogged arteries, but I expected this to affect me when I was in my 40s or 50s like it did everyone else. I guess I just have to stop eating sticks of butter and start running again. Or join an Ultimate Frisbee league! Anybody know of any in the LA area?
Me: Yes?
Doctor: We got the results of your blood test back.
Me: (as I brace for death) Yes?
Doctor: Your cholesterol's rather high.
Me: And?
Doctor: You need to eat better and exercise more.
Me: That's it?
Doctor: And we need to schedule you to come back in three months.
