How to Make It in Life

As I was driving to the post office today, I saw the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. It made a left turn in front of me as I was sitting at a stop light, and as it did, the driver beeped at me. Not out of malice though, because how can anyone really be angry when they're driving a giant hot dog? No, he was waving hi, or giving me the thumbs up, or something. What a nice fellow. That just made my day.

And so I got to wondering if I could apply to be one of them Weinermobile drivers. That would be fun. Bringing joy to all and such. A large weiner always puts a smile on people's faces.

On second thought, I probably shouldn't, because with my luck, I'd probably get into an accident. And then I'd never hear the end of it. "You rear-ended that guy with your weiner!" Hohoho.

But come to think of it, that would probably be a good way to go. If I had to die of unnatural causes, I would want it to be in the most hilarious manner possible. So dying in a Weinermobile accident would be right up there. Along with peeing on an electric fence, or accidentally launching yourself with your homemade catapult.